My worse berhaviour

today i wake up early..but my friends still..sleeping........i start disturb him...but...i..don\t now why every time i see him..i always feel jealous...very jealous..i jealous about every thing about..him and i always hope that one day i be like him...actually..i have a lot...of disadvantages if compare with him......i sometimes feel jealous...if he close to other because..i want to close with him as close friend..i haven't many prend..so what i can do just hope that some day...i can be close like he close to his other prend...but..what the worse thing is that when i feel jealous i will make fault that suppose to be not occur in friendship...every time i do this i know it will...get our friendship get worse..and fucking bullshit...what i regret the most is that i have over the boundaries as a friend...i feel so sin..and at the same time i'm afraid my friendship will lost....OMG..i cannot stand this anymore i hope the god...change my though, my worse berhaviour.....and strengthen my friendship...please....from the story of life,,,hahahahahaaa.....juz joke..haaaaaaahahaha............